Over

Now I'm single. You had your chance and you blew it. You know I was gonna find out about it sooner or later right? But its okay I don't mind. I know we were gonna break up anyhow. Be happy with your girl. You know who I mean. Take care.


Dear Hafiz, I miss you like hell. Wish you would text me and call me. Cause I never stop loving you I swear. I know you wouldn't come back after what I did. I'm a selfish bitch. But I hope you understand that I need you in my life. I don't dare to talk to you cause i'm scared of what i'll say. I love you forever and always ;( 


"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night.  I miss you like hell."

As you wish

So first of all. If you're reading this. I want to apologize for my severe stupidity. I don't know why I keep going back to you when I'm down. I keep begging for you back when I'm sad. Maybe its because I never imagine myself without you. I think you can make me happy and be my savior, my hero. And I'm sorry for leaving you afterwards everytime. I'm sorry for not appreciating you while you were still there for me. I'm sorry for texting you and saying I love you  but in reality we both know I always leave you. 


Straight to the point, I just wanna tell you how terrible I feel for doing all that to you. So from now on, I won't bother you ever again. I promise you that. I won't text you, ask you back or anything. Because when I do all that, I will end up hurting you. Like you said, lets pretend we never know each other. I'm out of your life. I want you to be happy, take care and don't ruin yourself. But if you need anything I'll be there.


So long, old friend. You will be missed ;( xx


"You can erase someone from your mind but getting them out of your heart is another story"

Dead on the 28th of July

Why must it be me that's hurting? Why oh why oh why oh why? How can you say I'm ugly to a girl you're trying to hit on? There is not much to say for I am given up on you. 


I HATE YOU.


Thanks for hurting me. Played me like a toy. I thought you can love me but I was wrong. So, goodbye.

Pain on the 27th of July

We were talking then you brought her up, again.


Stop talking about her..


I don't wanna run away but I can't take it. I just don't understand.


I don't understand how you can care about her so much more than me. Please oh please tell me the reason why. I just wanna know why. Cause I'm so curious. If you tell me then I'll shut up for the rest of my life and not ask about her again. You know its true what they say. Curiosity kills..


So I cracked a joke. I asked who is she to you then you said "Friend, what else would she be?" then I said, "Oh idk, you mistress ;P". Seemed like you didn't get my joke. You respond with something really surprising, well not really, but never I thought you'd say that.


My heart sank.. I couldn't describe how much despair I was feeling. Never I thought that we would come to this point. A point where you hurt me so much, I'm speechless. It would take a lot for someone to make me speechless. It is really really hard for anyone, I mean ANYONE to cause me emotional pain you made it look easy.

Suffering on the 20th of July

When I see your smile. Tears roll down my face. Cause boy you're everything I thought you never were. But still you live inside of me. Although you break my heart, you're the only one I love to not forgive. There are times when I hate you. The times that you hurt me and put tears on my face. But now I don't hate you I'm happy to say that I will be there at the end of the day. I don't wanna be without you babe. I don't wanna love you in no kind of way.


What did I do to deserve this? I loved you with all my heart. Never did I, even once, stop loving you. Everyday I wonder if I ever cross your mind. Cause I think about you almost all the time. You lied, you cheat, you flirt and you never reply my texts. Still you said you love me like crazy but how can I believe what you're saying? Action speak louder than words. Your performance show nothing what you tell me. I've given you chances but still..


I want nothing else from you but for you to stay true to me alone! I never want to change you, sweetie. Cause I couldn't. I know because I tried. Who am I to you? Just a girl you flirt with. No one special. I'm just one of them fans of yours whose crazy about you. When are you gonna realize that I'm the only one that's true. I don't wanna beg for you, plead for you cause its all not worth my tears. You are not worthy of me. I know I deserve better. I just want you to love me, at least try. This last chance, K. Take it wisely. Don't blow it don't waste cause I..


won't give up on you.


I am not the kind of girl that begs for a guy to stay. I don't beg. Begging is for the weak. I only ask for one. Stay true to one and only. That is it. Is that too much for you?


If you can't do that then say so. Rather than give me hope that you can love me but then leave me. You'll deceive me! You leave me wanting more and more and more. Everyday I pray to God, "Please.. Let me be given one more chance" Cause I'm tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of hoping that one day you'll come to me and whisper "I Love You". Those three big words can change my life if you really mean it. I know, yes, you say it all the time that's why the meaning is different now. To you, those words are for to hit on girls. Pshhh!


You are nothing but a coward. A coward that's afraid to love. There must be a reason for that. But puh-lease brotha, trust me I don't wanna know. I don't care who you are, where you're from or what you did as long as you love me.

I ain't gonna change no I ain't gonna change for you!

Okay so originally I was actually gonna post about my sad love life. But after hearing Travis Millis songs again. He made me smile. I love you so much! You're so hot, and your songs are so inspirational to me. Ain't that a shocker? Haha love you! ;)

Too pretty ;;)

I am who I am and what rad is rad.

To those who wants to get to know me better, well.. here 10 things about me.


1. I don't make quick friends because I am not as easily trusting and freely expressive with my feelings as others.
2. I will use ignoring as a diversion from drama.
3. Sometimes people will think I am holding a grudge when I've actually just lost interest.
4. I will keep trying before I ask for help... that is, if I ever ask.
5. I'm not good at taking criticism, I'm good at giving it.

6. I like to sit back and observe.
7. You may never know when I'm worried or stressed because of my ability to display a cool and calm demenor.
8. I will measure every angle of a fall before they even consider taking it. I must be sure you're worth it.
9. You must be able to handle a strong minded person to be with me.
10. I like to solve my own problems.

Boys will be boys.

Let's talk about sweet talkers. One that flirts will every girl that come in his way. The question is. Is it wrong? When he is single, of course not. But when he is taken, hmmm, idk. Some say absolutely, some say no, some say it sorta is. So which is it? I think it depends on his gf, right? Any who, are these sweet talkers bad people? Some say yes but I don't think so. To those who say yes are maybe because they are the victim of the ST(sweet talker). She fell for him, then she saw  that he said the same thing to the other girls. So they got furious and jealous and rage and whatever. The reason why I think its not that bad because, try to walk in his shoes, ask yourself why he is doing that. Maybe its his past. Maybe he broke up with his gf because she's a sweet talker herself? And he is revenging on girls. Haha! I am exaggerating. But seriously tho, whatever he is now have to do with the past right? 


Okay so what to do with an ST? Just go with it. Be an ST too. Wait wait, this is for single girls like me. And you must be thinking, why the hell a 15 year old girl giving me an advice? I don't know. LOL. Don't get mad at him when you see him flirting with other girls. Pretend that he is nothing to you, that whatever he do doesn't bother you a bit. Then, maybe, he will get intimidated. Cause you're playing hard to get. Flirt with other boys too. Like I said before, be an ST. A boy played a toy, left it, another boy plays with it, then he wants it back. They will try anything to get you back cause they are bullshit like that. ST are very easy to figure out.


If, if if if if, you got mad at him, or even sulk when he flirts with other girls. He'll be like, "Hah, this chick is crazy, she really thinks that I'm into her? Fuck that." Well maybe not exactly. But you know what I mean. As a conclusion to all the crap shit above, play hard to get. Okay ladies? Who run the world? Girls! Hehe so that is it. I hope this help. Bye ladies.


Xoxo, ally. 

I live to rock

"I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi to me, or even smile, because I know even if just for a second, I crossed your mind."

Notice how my recent posts are all about the guy I like? Well... I'm so over him. Lols. You must be like "Ally, what the hell are you thinking? One minute you like this guy, and then you're over him and you found someone better a minute later???!!" Well yes. I am crazy like that. It's not that I "love" him. I just like him. You know? Like cute like that we always had in primary school? Haha whatever. Well this new guy is a lil bit older. I'm not gonna say anything about him. Just wanna say that he is awesome. That's it.

School has been a piece of shit lately. The teachers are all pissed for not finishing their assignment. Well, you're not suppose to give us that task in the first place. And I don't know why. I've been veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery lazy lately. I am not kidding. Even when eating I'm lazy to chew the food. Lol, my mom say that there is something chronic with me. Severe lazy illness. Is that disease even exist? I dono. LMFAO! When the teachers are teaching in class. I always yawn and feel like sleeping. I always wanna learn but at the same time I don't. And I'm sitting for the biggest exam of the year. So, better pick up the pace and step it up a notch. 

Ally, stop okay?

Okay Ally. I know you like this guy so much. But you have to learn that he is not the right guy for you. He is a fucking playboy. Yeah I know he is cute. But trust me, there is tons of cute guys out there for you. Or even cuter than him. So don't embaress yourself trying so hard to get his attention okay? He don't deserve your effort. He ignores you all the time. So build a bridge and get over it. All I want you to do is ignore him until he talks to you. And then ignore him again. Don't ever ever talk to him first. Promise me. You have done enough.


Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.

Why?

Yesterday, I got a chance to talk to you yet I blew it. I didn't take that chance. Because I was so shy and ashamed of what you will think of me. People can say that let one accept you for who you are and if they don't, screw them. But no. I like this guy so much. I can be anything he wants me to be. Do I sound desperate? Damn. Fuck you and your adorable baby face. Even though I don't know you that well. Please give me that chance to get to know you, okay? You are the ladies man. But no matter what my darling, I will do whatever it takes to get you notice my existence! I want to be proud with you walking by my side holding my hand tight. I want to be the only girl in your world. I will, maybe, someday...


Where do I begin, my feelings for you seems everlasting like they'll never come to an end. And when I have the courage to approach you, I wish you're just as I imagined.
It's so absurd how I am anonymous to you, yet I sense a deep aspiration to be with you. I seem to always hear them deliberate in reference to your courteous ways, if I was to unveil the infatuation I possess for you, will I startle me away?
the secret that my heart conceal is infatuation for that i wish to reveal.

Secret admirer

Im your secret admirer,
Your the one I desire..
From the first time we talked, my feelins for you sparked like fire
Please try to understand,
Im afraid to let my feelins show,
But I dont want to be left alone...
I just want to hold you close and never let you go..
But so far all I have are dreams of you
I never thought it was possible to fall in love with you..
Your so sweet and caring..
I must be dreaming..
Im your secret admirer,
If only you knew that my love for you has been set on fire
But im trying to be careful,
I dont want to be left heartbroken..
Im just your secret admirer,
And thats all I'll ever be..

Freedom

Okayyyyy. So, I am single. I have a crush. But he is surrounded with so many girls around him. I am so angry. Every time I im-ed him, he replied it like 5 minutes later. Whateverrrr. I have to fight if I want him. The strange thing is, he has a gf. And he ignored her. I don't care! I just want the prize. Heeee. Now that I'm single, I can do whatever I want! I don't get be restricted anymore. I don't feel like I'm in a cage anymore. I'm free. :)


My freedom. You saved me. You tore my chain, you detached the knots, you released my pain, you fixed the dot. Thank you. My freedom. You're my massive concept. My imperative impulse. My freedom,


I respire you, you inspire me :)

Strangers again

At first we were strangers. Then we became friends. Not long after, you asked me to be your girlfriend. We were a perfect couple for almost a year. I couldn't ask for anyone better than you. We even passed the comfort zone. But I, uh, I wanted more. I was selfish. So I did that to you. That bad things I did to you for how many times? Three? Yeah that is very sad. You may weep and feel sorrowful but neither your weep nor your sorrow can make things right, right? Your heart is now hard, gnarled and crooked. Because of a girl. This one girl that you love the most and she did love you. But what is not enough for this girl? She claimed that you annoy her for calling her and texting her 24/7 and never leaves her alone. But all that you want is to give care and love her, right? I don't know how to explain her severe stupidity and ungratefulness towards a guy like you. She may never find anyone like you but she will, maybe, move on and.. God knows what will happen to her. 


I'm not saying that I love you, but yes I did, I did love you. I loved you but still the same questions echo in your mind every single second asking "Why did you do that to me?" "What did I do to deserve this?" "Don't you love me?" Well Hafiz, I have no answer and no excuse for my misdeed. So this post is me apologizing to you, for what I did. I am not asking you back because I hurt you so much. I don't want you to hurt any further. Because a broken glass is better if it is broken than hurting yourself trying to fix it. That is why I told the truth, I couldn't hold it any longer, that is why I asked for a break up, because I don't wanna keep hurting you and hurting you and hurting you. 


So after that stage, we became strangers, again.

The perfect guy

There is a place where I lose myself... Your hair: a cascading wave of shimmering black, framing your face and rolling down your back. Your eyes: shimmering pools, both dark and bright, exuding patience and care, never spite. Your cheeks: smooth and soft, serving as pillars to hold your eyes aloft. Your lips: able to contort into a tender smile, or into a kiss, so versatile. Your mind: a tool so keen, honed sharp for someone only sixteen. Your voice: a music to my ears, a melodious sound to remember all my years. A place that is yourself. But this is actually for my bf, Hafiz. The picture of oh sweet Robert Pattinson is just for fun.

Forever and always love you

I met you and I saw such wonderful person.
Then I became your girl friend, and had a reason.
A reason that touched me and walked me through life with you…. 
I walked and began to have these feelings.
They were unexplainable and sealed my heart...
That I knew this friendship will never fall apart, and at that moment I said, "I know deep Inside me I will be with you forever”, as we go through ups and downs.
We will always be strong together. You made me realize who I really am.
And have showed me the right way…and I know I’ll do my everything to make our relationship stay. 
You’re my joy and my everything the heart to keep me alive. 
I love you... Now and always and forever until I die. 
Believe me when I say this but its true. My love for you is everything.
Without you I’m nothing and I don’t know what I would do without you, all I know is that my heart would be torn apart or may cause me to do suicide and many crazy things. 
And for that reason that would make me have unpleasant feelings. 
You know I’m here for… as you are for me…and I believe that you’ll never leave me or ever try to hurt me. 
You do whatever to have a smile on my face and make me happy. 
And that I am so thankful for being everything to me. 
I know sometimes I don’t know how to return the way you are with me. 
but trust me I try my best to keep the stress from hurting me. 
I always hold it all inside and I’m sorry for what I’ve done wrong I mean it deep inside…. 
I know my love for you is like a song, a song that will always play for you. 
And doesn’t have any regrets…and feels so lucky to have you.
And I always thank God every moment of my life…and like I said my love...
No matter what happens I'll always and forever love you till the end of time.


I love you so much. Yes I do. You are mine forever, Hafidz :') Believe me as these words came with tears from the bottom of heart.

I'm stupid I'm ugly I'm dumb

I don't know where to start. I'm just terribly sorry. I'm not saying that I want you back cause I know you won't come back. I'm a bitch. I blew it. I just wanna say that you are the perfect guy for me. PERFECT. You're nice, good looking, handsome, kind, everything I want in a guy. But still, I cheated. I don't know IM A SLUT! I'm crying so badly cause I blew it. I'm really really sorry :(((((((( I WANT YOU BACK. But I know you hate me! Forget me! Please don't come back! I don't wanna hurt you anymore. Please. I guess, if I love you, I should let you move on. Bye hafiz :( Forever gone.

I feel like a winner

I love everything about you. Never knew I could feel like this. I want to vanish inside your kiss and after that I will love you more and more. This wonderful feeling you have given me. Makes me want to be with you endlessly. I love you more than anything. And I need you more than everything :) 


You're my hero. I feel like a winner. You're there to guide me. Like the wind beneath my wings. I know I'm always scolding you, mocking you. But underneath all that screaming and angry, i really love you, i always have and always will. 


Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance. 

Y O U

I love you. I wish I could hold you forever. You are my best friend, my shoulder to lean on and the person I know I can count on. You're the love of my life, you're my one and only, you're my everything! I fall in love with you every time I look into your eyes. You are the only one for me. They say a picture says a 1000 words but when I see yours, all I see is three, I Love You! Some night when you are outside, look up at all the stars in the sky, each one has a reason why I'm in love with you. You mean the world to me. I can conquer the world with just one hand as long as you are holding the other. 

I love you. Really, I mean it, Hafiz. But I dont know if you deserve me, or even me. Do I deserve you? Sometimes you're so nice and sometimes you're just the opposite. Should I hate you because you hurt me? Or should I love you because you made me feel special? 

FUCK YOU MAN

LISTEN TO ME, GOBLIN. You're stupid, lets accept that and move on.